JOY Eurovision

17 May 2013

The Wrap: Semi Final 2


The Wrap: Semi Final 2

Hello Europe and hello Australia! It’s time for Semi Final 2. It’s just happened in Malmö Arena but of course you can see it on SBS 1 on Saturday night. Here’s your handy guide to what to look for on the night. There are no spoilers, promise!


It may be beatboxing, but it’s certainly appropriate. PeR have gone all out to open the show and they have done a good job too. They seem slightly, how can I say this politely, Jedwardish in their staging. All that jumping around, sparkly clothes, nice hair… but at least it works for them. I hope I’ll be able to buy Ralph’s jacket at H & M before I go. It would be a nice touch for the work Christmas party.

What to look out for: Ralph’s open jacket

San Marino

In a huge about face from last year’s Social Network Song, Valentina is going power ballad. Obviously red is a colour of good luck in San Marino. She really goes off in this one, as the song builds to a powerful ending. Watch for this one.

What to look out for: The orb. It’s quite a plaything.

FYR Macedonia

It’s nice to see that Lozano is looking quite handsome tonight. But of course, the star of the stage is Esma and you can’t miss her in that dress! If the other former republics can’t get through, surely this bit of ethnic dance should. It’s certainly getting the crowd dancing! And it’s nice that the crowd went right up for Esma… Lozano didn’t even get a look in!

What to look out for: Esma’s tongue work


Ahh Farid. Spoiler alert: he’s wearing clothes. I’m sorry. But he still looks good in them. Speaking of clothes, there is a dress with a very long train that caused much chaos in rehearsals. It seems to be working properly now though, which is lucky for Farid because we wouldn’t want him falling over and damaging his pretty face. Add some rose petals to the whole thing and you’ve got a performance that can be read into over and over again.

What to look out for: Farid’s see-through closet.


Krista has got the whole reception on stage for Marry Me. It’s supposed to be a Vegas wedding, though Elvis is sadly missing. Girls, look out for her pink shoes. Another must have for the Australian summer. And those of you planning your wedding should take note of the excellent use of wind machine with veil. Get the invitations out. It’s time to Ding Dong!

What to look out for: That ending!


Gianluca has his quaint little band with him, all sitting on lovely little stools. In the steps of Roberto from Semi 1, Gianluca has opted for some audience participation through karaoke. I still like this song. And it seems lots of other people do too. You’ll be humming it for ages afterwards. Promise.

What to look out for: Re-using video clip props


There are more drums on stage than 12 year old girls at a One Direction signing at Westfield (insert suburb of your choice here). These two are singing for the champions. They’re champions for being able to work that packed stage. You can also be a champion if you correctly count the number of triangles and squares in the drum construction. There’s a fun game for the kids in the car!

What to look out for: The big mask with a little body underneath.


Eythor is such a handsome man. He should get points just for his smile. But that’s enough of that – this is still my number one song for this semi. And Eythor belts it out like a crazy man. Back to his looks, he has quite  good facial hair routine. Must visit his stylist.

What to look out for: Those long, blond, flowing locks.


If alcohol was truly free, these men would be crawling out on to the stage right now. However, they are wearing kilts, so that makes up for it. Will we find out what they wear underneath though? The crowd enjoys this one. You probably will too. Any DJs up for remixing it a bit? It would probably do very well at the Peel…

What to look out for: Plates being thrown from all angles while the audience attempts the Zorba.


Moran has obviously listened to my suggestions for getting the straight male vote and is back in that dress. At least it gets her noticed. There’s not much else staging-wise to be excited about… just a piano. And even that’s somewhat hidden.

What to look out for: If the modesty patch holds up


It seems that denim is back in, as are scarves. The rock boys have tried to look like rock boys, but sadly, it just isn’t happening for them. They should’ve worn work gear and boots. But for a rock song, it’s very Eurovision. That’s all that can be said. It’ll probably go through.

What to look out for: Good question.


Hello ByeAlex but hello ByeAlex’s guitarist! If the cameras swung around to him more, there might be more votes going Hungary’s way. The hair is interesting though, but I can forgive that. You can take a break from the party games for this song. Consider it a gift from SVT to allow you to stand up again.

What to look out for: The animations in the background. Johnny Depp will be calling for a movie adaptation.


Margaret Berger has used some sex factor to get points on this one. Can’t blame the girl for trying. She’s looking hot! It is all about the dress though. Oh, and the song’s pretty rocking too.

What to look out for: The very long plait. Mothers with children, imagine this of a morning!

Break time!

Oh no, Lynda Woodruff’s back! And the poor dear got lost…


For those of you who were wondering where the smoke machines had gone, don’t fret any longer. They’re back, as are a variation on the Croatian knight costumes. How very regal. I really don’t know what’s going to happen to this one. The crowd’s bobbing, but that’s about it really.

What to look out for: The surprise pyrotechnics


Get your glasses ready! This one has it all. I’m not going to spoil it, but it would be beneficial to keep your stocks at easy reach. You will probably need something soft to fall over on too. Douze points for Nodi though. He looks bloody good… As does his bride partner, Sophie.

What to look out for: How the Georgian delegation has kept Swarovski in business


It’s time for the Salvation Army Band Takasa to hit the stage and they have brought the whole kit with them, including their oldest member. But of course, all eyes are on guitarist, Jonas Gygax. Don’t worry about looking at the rest of them. You just need to concentrate on Jonas. Unfortunately he still thinks he’s 12 and wears his good trainers as formal wear, but it’s a small sin.

What to look out for: Audience members throwing those annoying 1 kronor coins at them


A warm welcome to Eurovision’s first animal on stage, a glittery frilled-neck lizard called Cezar. Oh? That’s his costume? Sorry… You can never quite tell when people get on the stage at the Eurovision Song Contest. You’d probably want to put the glassware away for this one. The last thing you want to do is have damaged wine glasses before the Grand Final. Just saying.

What to look out for: Where Cezar’s chest hair went

Interval time

Do not miss Part 2 of the History of Eurovision. Refill your drinks and go to the toilet after it.

And certainly don’t miss the Interval act. It’s poptastically Swedish!

Who gets through?

Check the results at

Now it’s time to get ready for the Grand Final!

Who was your favourite? Who bombed? Share your comments.


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