JOY BLOG

“In brief, aromanticism for me is the freedom to determine intimacy and affection on my own terms. Without being able to label this part of my identity I grew up considering myself independent and self-reliant, and felt confused and embarrassed when my peers would discuss who they liked or got into relationships with each other, seemingly with no effort or guidance.

It wasn’t until I attended university and was procrastinating on writing my thesis that I discovered the asexual community and by extension aromanticism, and have identified as aromantic ever since. Ironically, the quality and depth of my relationships has vastly improved since this time, as I’m now able to communicate my desires, limits and experiences more effectively, and no longer feel the need to force intimate relationships into a mold approved by the general society.

As part of Aromantic Awareness Week, I’d like to encourage everyone to spend some time reflecting on the kinds of relationships they genuinely want in their lives and to pursue them wholeheartedly – be they romantic, platonic, familial, queerplatonic, or completely new.

We all deserve to feel loved, and have the right to decide for ourselves what form that love takes in our lives. Not feeling romantic attraction may be considered a handicap by many (particularly when it comes to dating), but I’ve found that listening to that part of myself can be a great guide in making a life that’s my own, unfettered by society’s expectations.”